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Viewing entries tagged
NVLD
Non-verbal learning disability means that the verbal (especially visual) is easy for individuals like me to memorize and understand. Need me to write out and remember exactly how your long name is spelled? Honey, I got you. I’ll remember which vowels have the exact accent and umlaut over them.
People who struggle with nonverbal communication, such as individuals on the autism spectrum or with non-verbal learning disorders, such as myself, are especially vulnerable to this. We struggle with understanding sarcasm, eye rolls, and other such nonverbal social cues. Making friends, as a result, is really, really hard for us, and when we get friends, we automatically assume that if they’re hanging out with us, they’re doing it because they love and care about us. Even when they say and do mean things to you.
Two of my ex-boyfriends from my college days, both brilliant engineers with incredibly broken spirits, loved labeling me as ‘weird’ and would call me that when they were irritated with me. I dated one right after the other, and both could not stand how non-verbal learning disability (NVLD) and major depressive disorder (MDD) had shaped me, snapping ‘Stop acting weird!’ more times than I can remember, so much so that being called ‘weird’ now causes me to physically flinch.
And why not? Humans, we’re a complicated bunch, and for most of our history, we have tried in various ways to understand ourselves. One of the best, and most devastating ways, is through measurement. It makes sense: if someone has the most number of something, whether it is money, land, or children, then that is measured by the rules of their society as success. But this can lead to terrible things, ranging from eugenics to genocide. If someone does not measure up to the rules that the governing party that oversees them, then life can--and usually does--become incredibly difficult for them.
