But what made her reminder even more poignant was that she had the courage to make a joke about something serious. That’s just one of the reasons I love Eric Emanuelson. She is one of my only friends who has the courage to joke around with me about my medical equipment, diagnoses, and medications.
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Minus the outbreaks mentioned above a lot of us internalize our feelings. We pretend we are fine when in reality it feels like our insides are falling apart. We try to push through the pain, the nausea, the dizziness or whatever other symptom we’re experiencing. We try to be brave and put on a good face for the rest of humanity, but on the inside the struggle is so very real. So we need you to come alongside us and ask us how we’re really doing. Don’t just accept okay or good because odds are we probably aren’t okay.
I went through the next couple of years dealing with the pain associated with eating. Then in July of 2011 things took a turn for the worse. I would eat a meal at night and the next morning would still be full. I usually went for a run each morning. Sometimes that helped the food move through, but other times I would vomit food, from the night before, at noon the next day. I was confused, but didn't say anything at first. I didn't want them to treat me for an eating disorder again. I thought I was past all that. Eventually I couldn't keep silent anymore.