I went through the next couple of years dealing with the pain associated with eating. Then in July of 2011 things took a turn for the worse. I would eat a meal at night and the next morning would still be full. I usually went for a run each morning. Sometimes that helped the food move through, but other times I would vomit food, from the night before, at noon the next day. I was confused, but didn't say anything at first. I didn't want them to treat me for an eating disorder again. I thought I was past all that. Eventually I couldn't keep silent anymore.
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Learning that there was nothing ‘wrong’ with me took years. And along with that, I learned many other things, vital life lessons that I should have been taught as a child. I learned how to say I wasn’t okay. I learned how to fight back. I learned how to be angry. I learned how to be me, an agender asexual bisexual person with Bipolar II and an eating disorder. I learned how to scream. I learned how to love.