The doctor sent me home with a recommendation for a colonoscopy to see if I have inflammatory bowel disease – not to be confused with irritable bowel syndrome. This is where my Google searching picked back up. I furiously searched for answers. What is inflammatory bowel disease? What is the difference between IBD and the more common IBS? Was this disease life threatening?
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My hope is placed in Jesus, not in the doctors. Therefore I am not disappointed when a doctor has no answer for me, because if my hope is in Jesus then I can’t be disappointed. Instead I trust that He knows exactly what’s happening so I have no need to worry.
Born with a chronic gastrointestinal (stomach) disease I was constantly fighting a daily battle to keep my spirits up and not succumb to the thoughts and emotions that always threatened to overwhelm me. Texting was like a lifeline for me. It made me realize I wasn’t alone and there were people out there who loved and cared for me.
After I received the G-J tube I spent about a month in the hospital. I was released, but returned a week later for dehydration. The next stay also lasted a month. I was out of the hospital for about four months and was then readmitted that January. When I was released the first week of February I thought my hospital stays were over, but sadly I was once again admitted about a week later. As I mentioned above I was heart broken and didn't want to see another hospital room, but I reluctantly agreed to the admission.
When I go to a cash register to check out I watch as the cashier’s eyes stayed glued to my chest instead of my face as I try to talk to them. I try to ignore the stares. I try to pretend that they aren’t staring openly at me. I try to act normal, but it’s hard. Sometimes I just want to blurt out, it’s called a port and it’s keeping me alive. If you have any questions please ask them, but please just stop staring at me and acting weird or embarrassed about it.
Many ask if it was possible for me to be born without my disease would I chose that? My response may surprise you, but I would say no. I've prayed for many years that God could use the bad of my disease to bring good to others and I have begun to see that being played out. If I hadn't suffered first I would never understand someone else's suffering to the extent I do. There are countless lives I never would have had the opportunity to touch if I didn't have my disease.
Because of you gastroparesis, I know what it is like to suffer and be in pain and therefore I am able to empathize with people on a different level. I have developed an incredible passion for the medical field. A passion that was sparked at a young age. I want to be able to help others who are suffering because I know what it’s like.